Enough…

My mother told me I should write a blog about respect. I reminded her of www.lifessecondhalf.com/blog/respect . She read it and said it wouldn’t hurt to share the message again. I didn’t ask what precipitated her wish. Throughout this week I seem to keep coming to the word, “enough”, and I’m wondering if that was what happened with my mom. Maybe she’d had enough.

My mom often encounters snideness when it comes to the use of technology. I’m willing to bet a lot of her generation also are greeted with this attitude. It saddens me but some of it is from her grandchildren. You know, grandchildren who think they know everything. Grandchildren who grew up with technology but probably wouldn’t know what to do with a rotary phone. Grandchildren who would be lost without a cell phone or a tablet or a streaming service and wouldn’t have a clue how to entertain themselves if the wi-fi went out. After all, we can all be incredibly disrespectful about someone’s lack of skill in an area that is the norm for us. My guess is that she was treated to some offhand comment and thought to herself, “enough”.

I hold in high esteem a woman I’ve known almost all of my life. She told me that she knew it was time for retirement when a student came into her office and she wanted to laugh out loud at the excuse they presented. Enough. She’d had enough of that job. But that is far from the end of her working story. She went on to a job that was, in my estimation, higher profile, impacting even more people, and with a greater degree of responsibility and accountability. Knowing she’d reached enough didn’t mean she was done.

I was driving home last weekend from my mom’s. It’s a rural highway, one lane each way, lots of farmers’ fields and farmers’ homes and an 80 km/h speed limit. A speed limit is determined to be enough speed to remain safe on the road. A speed limit is designed with the purpose of the road, the build of the road, and the use of the land alongside in mind. It should be enough. Now, I’ll admit I’m not a super slow driver and won’t be driving below the limit unless traffic and weather conditions require. The number of cars passing on solid lines, tailgating other vehicles, and generally rushing ahead only to be slowed by a traffic light a kilometre down the road was astounding. Why isn’t a speed limit enough?

I’ve recently been a bystander to an unraveling relationship. I’m not close to the action but I’ve seen instances of it and I’ve heard a lot about it. When does the unhappiness become enough? What is the trigger to seek help? When does it become just too much? There should be a point when the arguments become enough. If it’s worth saving, then work for it. If it’s not, then know when it’s enough and find a way to move forward.

How about enough things? I’m noticing that the older I get, the more sorting and cleaning out I do. I have no problem admitting I probably like more things around me than some. I’ll never be a minimalist. I like decorating my house and the decor needs to be stored until it’s their season again. I have no problem with anyone who loves to be surrounded by their possessions. However I question, when is there enough? I’m at the point now where I don’t think I need any more Christmas items. That’s not to say there won’t be occasions when I find something perfect and I pick it up, but I think it may be time to put a rule in place. If I’m going to get something new, I have to be willing to give away or get rid of something old. It’s fun to freshen things up but I’m really questioning - when is enough, enough?

As a child, I know I heard my parents say, “enough”! They were probably tired of sibling fighting, or complaints when we were told no, or if we were talking back. And as a parent, I’m sure I said it myself - enough is enough! Sometimes our children wear us out! But what is enough when it comes to our kids? I think children have to push at boundaries, especially in a family. It’s a safe space for them to figure things out. Sometimes they need to make those mistakes in order to learn firsthand certain lessons. Enough is enough always felt like the last word. As a child, you had pushed as far you could go and the borders were shut down!

All those examples above can be taken as having negative connotations. What about the positives? Because I believe the word, “enough”, has lots.

I can look around and say I have enough. I’m blessed to work hard and earn enough to keep food in my fridge and pantry and to keep a roof over my head. I have been able to earn enough to buy the century home I always wanted. I have enough to be able to buy this laptop for my blogs and personal use. I have been gifted so many beautiful items over the years that my house is filled with enough furniture to live, enough beds to have visitors and enough dishes to break bread with family and friends.

I am lacking energy these days. I believe it will improve. In the meantime I still have enough to give back. I volunteered yesterday at a church fundraiser and I put in a few hours beforehand creating special treats. There was enough in me that allowed me to survive a long day after a long few months. I believe that’s a grace from God. When I’m at my lowest, there’s always just enough to keep going and to give.

This last one is really hard for me. I know that it hasn’t always been difficult, so I believe it will improve. I am enough. You are enough. I wish we, especially women, were better at this. I think this is so hard, especially for younger women. There is so much in social media, even mainstream television, magazines, everywhere you look that says you should be a certain way. I’m sure you’ve seen the television ads that tell you if you aren’t surrounded by friends and enjoying a bonfire on a Friday night, you’re missing out. What about characters who are slim, pretty, wear the best outfits, and have perfect hair? That’s not real life and we must remember that we don’t have costume, hair and makeup departments to get us ready each morning. We don’t have hours each day for the gym. AND THAT’S OKAY! We are enough, as we are right now. I’m having a terrible time with my weight. I have a pretty good idea what’s going on and I’ve reached out for help. My mantra when I get dressed or look in the mirror is: this is me right now and it’s good enough. This is who I am at this moment in time and I am enough. Life is a series of changes and I try to remind myself that at any given time, I am enough. Some days I’ll be better and some days will be harder and I am enough.

I’m sharing this picture as an example of acceptance. I have enough on my plate right now and I have not been able to clean out this garden. Hopefully I’ll be able to tackle it this summer, but if not I’m going to enjoy the beauty in the chaos.

We have lots of mosquitos at the moment. Although I have a small deterrent “machine”, I know I’ll need something for a different area as well. These cute turtle holds mosquito coils and will be gracing an addition to my yard, soon!

Flowers bloom and grow even when I don’t have enough time to weed!

I thought I would share pictures of the special treats I provided to our church fundraiser. These are bagged up, obviously. At the top of the left picture are the “backups” as not everything went perfectly! There were enough for all of our guests to enjoy and some for volunteers to take home. In case you’re wondering, they are both bags of meringues! On the left are peppermint and the right holds lemon.

Pictures from our High Tea fundraiser as we were setting up. On the top are two of our dessert trays. Aren’t they lovely?