Waiting…

I often hear that my son’s generation doesn’t have any patience. That they’re unwilling to wait for anything. I think the implication is that they don’t know how to work, save, and earn their rewards. It makes me wonder if my generation was thought of in the same way by previous generations. Perhaps this is a shifting of culture? Previous generations often joined one company, perhaps moving up within, spent their entire career there, and retired. Nowadays we see people switching between organizations and jobs. That seems to be a recognition of the changes we all face throughout life and that with those changes come new interests and opportunities.

I also hear a lot of: when this happens, then I’ll do that. I do it myself. I can’t wait for retirement. It’s more than three years away! Am I really that anxious for retirement? Am I willing to have the next three years with all that they may bring me, just fly by? Well, not when I think of it that way. Or how about, I’ll start that diet on Monday. I don’t like starting mid-week or on the weekend. Or I’ll do that (usually something for us) when the kids leave home. It seems these days the kids are sticking around years longer than expected! I’ll take care of myself when I have the time. I’ll do whatever when my spouse is retired. Then I’ll have extra time. My question these days is, really? If you don’t make time for yourself now, will you make time in the future? Or are you waiting for something that will never come?

So, that’s the focus of my thoughts this week. How often do we put something off because we’re waiting for something else? Of course it can be completely valid. I’m going to have to wait to put a pool deck in because I can’t afford it right now and it’s hard to find a company that has openings for the work. I’m going to wait to do more interior painting because I hate painting when it’s hot and humid outside. For me, that’s a cooler weather activity. But then, I’m going to have to schedule the time for it. I want it done so I have to allow myself the opportunity to accomplish it.

There’s a lot of really good waiting time, too. The wait time between getting engaged and getting married is a wonderful time. All of that time getting ready is part of the excitement and anticipation that goes into making your wedding day special. Pregnancy is 40 weeks of expectation. It’s the time needed to grow another human being. It’s also time for the parents to get used to the idea, adjust their lifestyle to accommodate a baby, get the space ready, share and celebrate with family and friends.

Waiting for the summer can be a great time. If you’re in school, there is that build up to a whole two months off! The springtime is a period of great waiting. We watch the snow melt and recede, the grass get greener, the first bulbs push through the earth, and feel the warmth of the sun’s return. I know during the spring I start planning for my outside work: do I have new plants I want to try; is there a garden I want to build or change; where do I want to focus my efforts during the summer? It’s waiting time well spent.

There is plenty of waiting in life and I try to make it “active” waiting, to the best of my ability. Active waiting is when I’m using the time to prepare. I may not be ready to paint inside my house during this heat and humidity, but I can get the tools ready, the paint picked, and I prep the area by determining what furniture will suit the room, and what can be removed. Even during yard work this summer, I’m thinking ahead to next year. I know I can’t build a pool deck yet, but I can spend some of my waiting period trying to plan what I want, where I want it, and scope out the cost. Sitting back doesn’t work for me. And that leads me to another thought about waiting. There is a difference, to me, between waiting and doing nothing. I think some people wait for the universe to make it happen for them or for other people to make it easier. That has never been me and that, in my mind, is doing nothing. It’s a little bit like buying a lottery ticket and waiting to win. The chances of that happening is almost nil. I like buying them sometimes, to dream about what I could do but it’s a short-lived dream.

I think there must be times when there is little that I can be doing while I wait. Hmm, here I am trying to come up with an example. I was going to say sitting in a waiting room and waiting for an appointment. But I always take a book with me so that I can pass the time pleasurably. So, when do I actually do nothing while waiting? Even at church when I’m in the pew and waiting for the start of mass, I’m quietly contemplating life or praying, so I guess there might not be many times that I do nothing. And I’ll bet that’s the same for most people.

I will admit that with this house and this village, I find myself in a sort of waiting mode. I seem to be waiting for something. It’s intangible, really. Maybe I’m waiting to feel like I belong. That this is my place. I think there are people who never find their place or their niche in their careers or lives. I wonder if that’s me. I feel like this exercise I’ve undertaken to figure out my second half of life is that kind of waiting game. Waiting for it to fall in my lap, perhaps? Or is it that I’m the type of person who is destined to always look forward.

I think there are people in the world who are incredibly comfortable. They seem to find their way, always. They meet the right partner, succeed in a job that is of interest to them, have houses that are homes, and build lifestyles that suit them. I feel like I’m a person who is always striving for something. It doesn’t mean material possessions or money. It’s that I’m looking for some inner peace that tells me, I’m in the right place. And having said that, I’m also a person who has been in the right place at different points in my life, but those places haven’t been lasting. I mean that they worked for that time in my life, but it wasn’t meant to be forever. Maybe not everyone goes through this waiting time. Maybe I’m one of the few.

When I’m in one of those right places, I’m still waiting, and I still live. I participate in the world around me, I do what I need to do to survive, and I find moments of happiness. When I was raising my son, we lived in a wonderful community within a city. I had the best friends a person could ask for. They supported me and my son. They were there for us through everything. And I knew it wasn’t going to be my final stop. I knew I had to keep moving on. I knew I was waiting for the next stop along my journey. I look at people I know who have lived their whole lives within the same community; they know everyone and are established as foundations of the community. I look at them and see fulfillment and happiness. They don’t seem to be waiting. They seem to have found it.

So, what is it that I’m waiting for? Well, I guess I still don’t know. In the meantime, though, it sure is fun to keep looking and picking the turns to take along the way.

I’m an early riser and sometimes miss the pretty after-dark sights of my yard. I had to wait for a long weekend to stay up late and share my night lights with you.

It took me a year to figure out what I wanted around my pool.

The top picture is after getting the area all weeded and the pictures below show the decorative rocks I’m using to surround the pool base.

It’s really hard to tell but these two pictures are the same colour of yellow. I’m waiting for the cooler weather to get this painting job all done!

This is my next project and I can’t wait to share the results!

Back in April, I started these sweet pea seeds inside. I’ve waited a long time but they are now producing the prettiest flowers!