Little things…

On a recent day in the office, I heard a co-worker talk about how her day had been “bad from the start”. Apparently, the dog moseyed more than normal causing the walk to take longer than usual and subsequently, they got caught in a rain shower. (According to the storyteller this was brilliant for the dog, not so much for the walker as she needed to change again for work.) After a fresh set of clothes and the reappearance of the sun she set out only to have a problem with the light rail transit causing another delay. When she finally did arrive at the office it turned out she had forgotten her pass at home!

Now, I don’t disagree that those three annoyances were a frustrating way to start the day. To be honest, my first reaction was that except for a scheduled meeting, our work allows us leniency in our work time. The transit has been awful for awhile so nothing new there. And we have onsite security personnel so even when we forget our ID it’s a relatively easy fix. But putting all three things together got me thinking about how often we let the small irritations grow into something that clouds our day. Perhaps the person working at your coffee drive-through window growls instead of smiles. Maybe you end up in rush hour traffic and it seems like no one will let you merge or change lanes. You’re late to a meeting and they’ve started without you. You make a cup of tea and the bag breaks.

All of those seem very small and completely irrelevant to your overall day. After all, a day is a full 24 hours, and those incidents are only seconds out of that and yet we let them shape our mindset as we approach the next thing in our day. There are other little things though, that can be truly impactful. Subtle putdowns come to my mind. If you have someone making snide comments on a regular basis, they can add up and bear a lot of weight. Constant, “little” snipes about how annoying something is or how you should be doing something a bit differently or how you can’t seem to learn that software quickly. And who knows what the intention of the speaker truly is? They may not even realize they’re doing it. I worry sometimes that I’m doing it myself when I agree with a friend when she calls herself a worrywart. I would never deliberately put my friend down and yet, am I not doing exactly that? When my son was here helping me with my “to do” list he got very frustrated with the age of the house. I lost track of the number of times he commented that he was unable to level something or that using a hand-me-down item was just annoying and that I should be buying new. What I’m sure he didn’t realize was that every comment took away some of my satisfaction at getting the work done. I know he wasn’t deliberately being mean, but those little negatives added up.

Think about aging. We laugh about how you hit a certain age and suddenly you’re getting out of bed moaning and groaning because your body is “falling apart”. Is it really? Probably not. It’s just getting older and maybe that means it needs a little more care than we’ve given it in the past. But if we take those little moans and groans and let them grow in our minds they’re going to keep us from doing all that we want to do. We won’t go for that walk around the neighbourhood or spend a beautiful Sunday hiking or biking. I believe we have to be careful how we treat those little things, or we’ll let them grow into very big things that take over our lives.

So, that’s a bit about how I see us letting the little negatives in our lives impact the big picture instead of leaving them in the “little” category. When I was reflecting on this topic, it occurred to me that we’re pretty comfortable with the negative. It seems like we tend to default to the negative easier than the positive. When I look at big things – a job bid that didn’t work out or a relationship that ended, I tend toward the silver lining. I know that if I had qualified during a particular job bid that getting my master’s may not have happened and definitely not when it did. That master’s degree opened a new way of approaching life and introduced me to some incredible people. There is no way I would have experienced that if I had qualified in that other job. A relationship that ended and didn’t end all that well, was a reminder that I had forgotten to put myself first. Looking back now, I can see how I “stepped aside” for someone who wasn’t really interested in me. Hopefully it’s taught me to care for myself along with others. It hasn’t embittered me. I still believe in love and happiness, it just reminded me that one person alone cannot make a relationship. But those are big things. It’s easy for me to look for the opportunities that come from failure. But little things don’t feel like failures and so I don’t look for those opportunities as often. Little things seem to be “pushed aside” and yet, they linger, perhaps subconsciously, if we aren’t careful enough to manage them well.

What about all the little things that happen to us that are good? Some of the smallest of things or events can give the greatest of pleasures. When a stranger passes you on the street and takes the time to smile and say hello. A little peak of the sun on a gloomy day. A down-to-your-bones hug from a friend and I’m blessed to have just such a friend who gives the best hugs! A giggle shared or not. In the course of your day none of those things is particularly big or noteworthy, although the hug definitely can be! But it can change the path of your day. We may not even realize it’s impacting our world but maybe you smile a little more or you hold the door for someone. You’ve now passed on those positive vibes.

Recently I had lunch with a friend at work. We didn’t go out and sit in a restaurant. We ate at the table in our kitchen area. Another person joined us and before you knew it there were pictures being shared and discussions about how amazing someone’s week away had been. It lasted less than an hour and yet it brightened the whole day.

I love my kitchen porch (only called such because of its location). In the summer the growth around my property hides it from the road. I love the seclusion and privacy of it. One of my favourite ways to start my weekend days is to sit on the porch with my tea and just let the world flow by. Sometimes I have my newspaper, or I read a book but whatever I’m doing there is a peace granted from the “hidden” nature of my spot. From my seat on the porch, I have a front row seat to my bird feeder. Now, I’m not a bird person, but since I moved here I’ve discovered joy from the number of different birds I have in my yard. Sitting on the porch I watch as they gather the seeds, talk to each other, and battle my chipmunks, named Chippy and Dale by me, to enjoy their meal. It’s a small moment of my day but it brings a smile.

I love my pool. The pool is not a little thing. It had a big enough price tag, and the care and maintenance aren’t tiny efforts of time. But there are little things about the pool that I savour. Yesterday morning we were getting steady rain showers. I love swimming in the rain. I’ve loved it for years. Often in summer our rain is accompanied by storm cells, so swimming is out of the question. But yesterday, the rain was falling gently, and the air was cooling, and I was swimming. It was amazing. I love the sensation. It put me in a good mood for the whole day.

This past week my mom brought my two nieces for a day of swimming. I was working all day and it was a busy one for me so unfortunately, I wasn’t able to join in the fun. I worked with my window open in my office, even though the temperatures were hot outside. I wanted to hear my niece’s laughter and sounds of her splashing in the pool. She’s like a mermaid in the water and would stay until waterlogged, given the choice. She spreads a joy with her smile and giggles, and love of the world. She’s a little thing (in stature) but she’s infectious and I can’t imagine the world without her in it.

While my son was here he did a number of “small jobs” around the house that I either couldn’t do on my own or hadn’t had the time to work on. He may not think they’re much, but they meant so much to me. He changed the feel of whole rooms with his contribution and help. I’ve included some pictures below. Those little things are the base of my contentment with areas of my house. I was so happy with my library/sitting room (and I think it’s going to be a sitting room by name) before he came. Now? I walk into it and smile. I smile because he added the final touches I need to the room. [After painting I was unsure about hanging anything on the walls because they’re plaster, and he researched and put up everything that I wanted.] Another “little thing”? He took the time to investigate how best to deal with constraints like my plaster walls. It’s old. It’s not made the same way as new houses. Instead of going ahead and just “doing it” the way that was familiar to him, he went to the trouble of figuring out how to do it properly. That means a lot.

As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Well, everything that I want to do with this house is going to take time and money and effort. It’s important that I recognize that each thing starts as something small, but it contributes to the whole, which makes its impact big. That’s the same for me. Every little improvement I make or lesson I learn starts out small but in the end makes me a better me. It’s time to celebrate those little things and appreciate them for the positive impacts that they have.

Some of the “small jobs” done by my son. In a house that’s more than 160 years old, nothing is truly a “small job”. Left pictures are knobs for doors that either have never had any or haven’t for decades. They’re a real treat for me! On the right are some wall hangings that add so much to my sitting room.

I’ve shared this piece before. My niece did a great job painting it to match my accent wall and now my son has installed it beside the front door. It’s such a beautiful and unique piece. I’m in love with how great it looks and it’s functional!

I was gifted a couple of old outdoor wall lights. In keeping with my desire to honour the old as I make this house my home, I decided to use one of the lights as my new driveway-side entrance light. It was a ton of work and perhaps in strict monetary terms, not worth it but I think it’s great to be able to reuse and upcycle items.

I was sure I had a picture of the door with the light so I didn’t take a “before” picture. The left side shows the old light, after it was taken down. On the right is the repurposed light - doesn’t it look amazing?!

I’ve decided to make some major changes to the dining room furniture. I had this fireplace in my bedroom. I think it makes a lovely sideboard! More changes will be shared as I sell and buy furniture.

Because I moved the fireplace downstairs, I recognized an opportunity to change things up in my bedroom. With many thanks to my son, this is my new set-up. It wasn’t easy and I couldn’t have done it on my own. I think the results are beautiful!

This area of my yard was hard hit with the spring storms. Each element of work was small but it all added up to create this perfect fairy-like area.

Tree limbs had to be removed, lots of clearing of the outstanding “rubble”, and then the lights had to be rehung.