Lighten Up…
I had already started my next blog and my mom made a comment to me about it being time to lighten up. Now, while I know that the comment was self-directed, it resonated quite strongly with me. I read the highlight from an interview (front page of a grocery store magazine while in line) where an actor said he did his current romantic comedy film because the world needs a little lightness. So, I’ve put the planned blog on hold to write this one.
A few things (other than the grocery store story above) came to mind when my mom talked about lightening up.
1) There is so much heaviness in the world right now – a pandemic that has become part of our normal way of life, a war in Ukraine that is devastating and could escalate, rising racism, lack of reason, and so on.
2) Too often my thoughts weigh me down and I struggle to pull myself up.
3) A little light might bring about happiness and enjoyment in life.
4) A break from thinking with such seriousness about my future might be very good for me.
Lightening up doesn’t have to mean leaving behind the heavy, important stuff. In fact, I think it might ease the pain enough to return to it with more energy and positivity. And I think I can use some of that. I laughed at myself because after my mom said the words, I found myself doing some deep thinking about it. Isn’t that what I was trying to avoid?? I decided the deep thinking can come out in this blog and then I can lighten up for a bit.
I’m finding it hard to connect with joy lately. I definitely need some in my life, as does everyone. Sometimes the harder part is defining what brings joy. And I’m not sure if joy necessarily means lightness. For the purpose of this blog, I’m leaving out the big heavyweights of happiness and joy. I’m not going to talk about those events and people that bring so much to our lives, like weddings and new babies. I’m going to “lighten up”.
I was trying to think of all those things that weigh me down. There are heavy thoughts sure, but there are also things and situations that I don’t always realize are adding weight to my shoulders. I find summer can be very stifling. I love it, for the warmth and explosion of flowers and of course for my pool! But I also find that it can slow me down when the heat and humidity become a little too harsh. Poor eating habits are really weighing me down lately. It’s not just the added weight when I step on the scale, it’s the struggle with clothes that don’t fit, lack of energy, and dissatisfaction in self. What else? Well, encountering a disappointing outcome in a job competition can be hard to bear. And some that may not seem to be as heavy but can add to what my shoulders carry include a losing season of a favourite team and difficulty making full use of my treasured pool this summer. There are some situations that are much tougher. When I bumped into medical issues over the last few months, I found myself without the desire to embrace life to the fullest.
Okay, so I’ve mentioned some items that I’m facing in life that are creating heavy thoughts and a sadder heart. What can I do about it? Because the truth is, I’m the only one who can turn this around. These are the ideas I came up with over the last week or so. They may seem inconsequential or not enough to make a difference. This is a good time to point out that one pebble dropped in a puddle can cause a ripple that changes the shape of the puddle. A little bit of lightness might go a long way. What’s that expression? Every great journey begins with one step. Well, here’s my one step.
Walk. Getting outside and walking is essential for me. Dog and I go at least three times a day. So, I’m going to make it four. That’s a small increase but I think it will bring more fresh air into my lungs, help me to appreciate the world around me (and after all, I love Fall and all its glorious colours), and get me away from screens.
Music. I am a great lover of music. When I am at my worse, I forget to turn on the stereo and forget the good it does for me. Music can mirror our mood (have you listened to some of the songs about unrequited love??) and it can also uplift. There is nothing like listening to an upbeat song, cranking the volume, and dancing. Honestly, try doing it. No one is watching you and if they are, they can only appreciate your joy in the beat. Good music can raise your spirits in a flash!
Leave behind the sugar. I love sweets as much as anyone, but I am finding I feel awful after eating them. So, my goal is to reduce my desire for sugar as much as I can and then track how I feel. This is not easy, but I can accomplish a couple of areas of lightening if I try hard enough. First of all, I’ll lose some weight and lighten up my body! And secondly, I know the lack of that extra “bad” in my body will help lighten my head and heart. Right now, if I give in to a craving, I’m almost immediately rewarded with a general feeling of “blech” and heaviness. The goal is to take one day at a time and celebrate the successes.
Laugh. Do you realize how wonderful what a bit of laughter can do for you? And not only you! Think about the sound of a baby’s laugh and how it produces giggles in anyone within hearing distance. I read once that laughter does amazing things for your body. It provides stress relief, increases oxygen, stimulates organs, and can even relieve pain! Now I know that “laughter is the best medicine” comes from science! So, I’m going to make sure I leave myself open to laughter. Even a few giggles can bring a smile and lighten the air around.
Stop waiting. Use the good dishes and crystal now! This is something I started doing shortly after moving in. I have beautiful glassware. It’s crazy to not use it in the hope that you’ll have a party or have people over and only use them at that time. Why bother owning pretty things if you aren’t going to enjoy them? I started using mine and am so happy I did. I think holding on to items and not using them creates too much clutter in my home. If I’m not going to use something then I’m going to pass it to someone who can appreciate or need it. I think of it as lightening my load and I’ve been doing a fair bit of it since I moved in. In the last couple of weeks I’ve given away items that have been packed away since I moved. It’s a wonderful feeling to know someone else will actually enjoy them.
Have fun. Sometimes I don’t think of fun as being necessary. I often associate fun with being with other people. It’s not that I hate my activities but when I’m on my own I don’t worry about an amusement level. I enjoy events and doing things but fun? When I think of fun I think of lightheartedness. I think of letting worries go, at least for a while and just being in the moment. When I was visiting my son out west I had so many moments of pure fun. We went kayaking and it was an amazing experience. It was just us and the water. I loved every second of it. I’m sure part of that was because I experienced it with my boy, but another part was the fact that I left all of my worries behind. So, have fun. Take pictures of your food if you want! Yell at a sporting event! Sing at the top of your lungs! Experience the lifting of weight off your shoulders and your heart.
We’ve just completed municipal elections here. Elections anywhere can cause so much discord. Now that they’re over, I hope that people can settle and move forward. My hope, as we are reaching the end of October and beginning of November, is to sit up straighter because I’ve taken some of my weight off. By Christmas, I want to be able to appreciate the joy of the season without feeling overburdened.
This is my pup and constant companion. I’ve shared pictures of him before. A year ago I was given three choices - amputate his paw (he has a tumour), put him down, or put him through chemo. I was very upset and spoke to a friend who has owned dogs for years. She said I would know when it was time, as did his groomer. So here we are a year later and he’s still around. Yesterday we were out for a walk and a lady stopped and pet him. You could tell she lit up over his presence. While I’m feeling the weight of his condition, he brought such lightness to a stranger!
Saw this in a store recently and sent a picture to my mom. I giggled like a little girl and for a moment, I was caught in the lightness of humour.
Removed a big bush and moved it to make room for future plans.
And this is where the plant now lives! Working to build a welcoming side entrance to the yard.
Work is starting on the front entrance. The closet is ready!