High School Days…

I’m just finishing a week off, holiday time. I prefer not to travel in summer because I want to use my pool and I like working in my yard. There’s plenty to keep me busy and I had most of the week planned. I knew what activities I wanted to do, what “chores” I wanted to accomplish, and what “treats” I wanted to give myself. Ultimately, I wanted to relax and reenergize before returning to work. In the course of my planning, I discovered there was a special event in my hometown at the end of my week off. Since I try to visit my uncle regularly, I figured this would be a win-win. I’d visit with him and get a chance to enjoy the festivities. My hometown is celebrating its bicentennial this year and I haven’t participated in any of the celebrations yet. I want to and yet I haven’t made the time. So, I added “Saturday afternoon in my hometown” to my activity list.

Over the course of these past seven days, I’ve done all sorts of things. I’ve gone to the movies – I love a good movie! When the incredibly stormy weather finally cleared up I started a painting project that’s been waiting patiently. I spent as much time as possible in my pool. I had a weekend with my mom and niece. I hosted my mom and two nieces for a day of pool fun and got a bunch of yardwork done. I’ve barbecued, sat out under the stars, and breathed in the peace of a rural summer night. It’s been a great break but underlying it has been a weird nagging in the back of my brain. I couldn’t figure it out until I was looking at pictures posted by a girlfriend of her family’s week of holidays. One of the captions was, “making memories” and it hit me – I’ve been dealing with high school memories all week.

Numerous shows will refer to high school memories. A standard theme is, “high school doesn’t matter”. It’s just something you have to get through before you get out on your own and you leave “that” behind. Generally, those stories are aimed at the awkward kids, the ones who aren’t popular, who haven’t found their place yet. I think there’s some important messages there, but I don’t think it “doesn’t matter”. All of that time in childhood, including high school, is what makes you the person you are now. I didn’t sit down and start musing about my time in high school; the memories would just flow through me, and I didn’t do anything to halt them. They are part of me, and they are mine and I have no problem owning them. It was important for me to realize they are how I remember that time. It may be quite different to how others picture it.

When I was visiting with my uncle I asked him about his time in high school. There are a lot of years separating us, but we grew up in the same hometown and attended the same high school. I was curious about how it was all those years before me. Now, my uncle was a jock. He was very good at sports and carried that into his adult life as well. He was popular, perhaps for being a jock. As he put it, you are accepted when you are good at a sport. In fact, he got an award that came from the student body, and he still has it on display. Those days meant something to him. My uncle is well travelled. He’s worked and travelled all around the world. He’s well respected and liked by his friends from childhood and the “newcomers” to the town (anyone who has been there under 50 years is a newcomer! LOL). He can converse on a number of topics, including politics, world events, and sports. He loves to read and keeps a book of every title he’s read, along with his review. In other words, my uncle is far more than his high school self. And yet, high school still means something to him.

I’m not a research scientist or psychologist or counselor. I can’t give you stats or back this up, but I’m going to suggest that high school is far more important than society realizes or perhaps, accepts. In my case, I worked so hard in high school to build a solid resumé to get into university and be successful. I didn’t want to stay in my hometown. Don’t get me wrong. I love my hometown and I had an awesome childhood. But I was “soft”. I didn’t like the harshness of childhood, the bullying and the putdowns. And I didn’t belong anywhere in particular, so I needed to find my place. [As a side note, it turns out I might be a wanderer and may never find my place.]

As I let the memories flow through me this past week, I’ll share what I remember and what I discovered about myself. I was never popular, although I tried to be accepted. I don’t remember more than one or two teachers who stood out for me. One was my chemistry teacher who made it clear that I should be good in chemistry since I was good in calculus, and he couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But he spent time with me and taught me what he could. When I went off to university he gave me a virtual pat on the back and with humour, told me I could do anything. The other teacher was early in my high school days, and he was patient and kind and taught the whole class. [Just a bit of information: when I went to high school, you started in grade nine and went to 12 or 13, depending on your next choices. In my case, because I was going on to university, I graduated from grade 13.]

As I wrote earlier, it was important to me to have a well-rounded resumé. I loved school. In fact, I still love school. My favourite time of year is September with back-to-school shopping and the anticipation of what the next year will hold. I don’t think of January as the start to the year. I loved learning and still do. As a student I was even a member of the Math Club! I also love sports. I’ve always loved sports. Over the course of my childhood, I swam daily in our pool, and competed on a swim team. I loved to ski. I always had a bike and although I didn’t race, I loved the feeling of riding on it. From elementary school on, I ran in track. I did cross-country for a while, but I’ll be honest it wasn’t my real love. I loved the track. The feeling of being on it, the anticipation of the gun to start the race. I played basketball on our high school team. I wasn’t first string but that didn’t matter. I was part of the excitement and strategy and wins and losses. I love football. I’ve loved football most of my life. If I could have played in high school, I would have tried out. That didn’t happen when I went to high school, and I honestly don’t know if I had the skill to make it, but I would have loved the opportunity. Instead I went to all of the home games, like most of our school, and loudly cheered on our team. So, I’ve talked about two aspects of high school life: academics and sports. The third area I engaged in was student government. I ran and was elected and worked hard to be successful in that area as well. I volunteered in the community and basically, tried really hard to be a good person. [Being human, I’m sure I failed miserably on many occasions, but I keep trying.] In our high school, we have an award that recognizes those areas of life. Sports, academics, and community. I was a nominee, which when I look back is an amazing memory.

So, why the stroll down memory lane? You would think from what I shared that I had an incredible time in high school. I did not. I was awkward. I didn’t fit in with the cool kids, or the jocks, or the geniuses. I wasn’t any one of those things. I was average. I wasn’t gorgeous. I was shy, and I think I probably tried too hard. And I didn’t like a lot of what I saw, the bullying and dismissal of people. In my high school you didn’t get the attention of the coach unless you were popular and brilliant. I think there were a lot of people who would have benefited so much from having that little bit of focus. The coaches that I remember are not in my memory for their greatness. I remember the callousness of being ignored because you weren’t the star. And I remember the thrill they had for those that were natural talents. There wasn’t a great deal of support or encouragement unless you were already at the top. And maybe that’s the way it always has been and always will be. After all, coaches and teachers only have so much time available. But I think there are hidden talents out there that would grow and develop with a little care and nurturing. It might be as simple as acknowledging a person’s persistence and giving them some tips for improvement.

And then there are the friends in high school. Not just a group of people with whom you “hang out” but someone who is your person. Someone who listens to your hopes and dreams and shares theirs with you. Someone who always has your back, no matter what happens. Looking back I realize that I didn’t have that one friend. I was friendly with lots of people but there wasn’t one that was with me or I with them through it all. I think that can make all the difference in the world. It doesn’t matter as much what others think of you when that true friend is by your side.

Now, I’m not feeling sorry for myself, although it might sound like it. I am a pretty good person. I’m very smart. I’ve worked very hard for all that I have. I’ve achieved a lot in my life. I did it in spite of high school. I did it because I had amazing parents who gave me what I needed to make it in life. It hasn’t been easy, and I think high school helped with that. If I had come out of high school without having to work so hard, it would have been more difficult to go on to achieve. I still love sports and participate whenever I can, team or individual. My hometown is a great place to visit, and I have wonderful memories of childhood. I’m blessed to look back on a beautiful, small town. I love going back to see my uncle and taking advantage when I can, to attend mass. That’s the church where I grew up and celebrated so much. The town has grown, as it should, but in my memories it will always be the small town of my childhood.

If you have the opportunity to be an educator or a mentor or a role model, take it! Give that young person someone amazing to look up to. Share your talents with everyone, not just the popular or outgoing or beautiful people. Share them with the quiet, shy, awkward kids, too. The days of childhood are what shape us for the future. They are the foundation on which our adulthood is built. They matter, including the high school days. They should not just be something to get through or survive. They shouldn’t be simply biding time. They should be an opportunity to learn and grow in a community of support and encouragement.

Yesterday I stood in the pouring rain for an hour as one of the bicentennial ceremonies for my hometown took place. We celebrated the man who invented basketball and with whom I share a hometown. He believed in youth and community. He was inaugurated into our national Walk of Fame four years ago and now that honour will be represented with a plaque in my hometown. It was a miserable weather day. I almost didn’t go and I’m so glad I did. The anticipation of that ceremony stirred so much in me this last week and by attending I put to bed most of those ghosts. I was alone for the ceremony but ran into a few people I know now. They were older than me when I was in school. I didn’t see anyone with whom I attended school. I was there alone, in celebration of the hometown that I love. I even saw the coach who had dismissed me all those years ago. I felt sorry for him. Imagine all the amazing people that he didn’t take the time to get to know.

While my son was here, he hung my upstairs bathroom mirror. This antique mirror was a gift from my mom’s friend. We cleaned it up and painted it to match the tub. Unfortunately, it was originally hung vertically. My son changed the hanging and got it on the wall. LOVE having it on the wall!

The worn down stool on the left is being upgraded. In the middle is with the first coat of paint. On the right is with two coats of paint. Still to come - the other stool and table. Can’t wait to share the finished product!

I’ve shared pictures of my outside dining area from the porch. This picture is from within the area. I was sitting out, enjoying the night, the warmth of summer, the flashing of fireflies with a cup of tea. Late nights are a wonderful part of holidays!

Last summer I cut out an archway from the barbecue to the dining area. This week I added solar lights to highlight it.