Gift Requests…
Do you let your family know what you want for your birthday or Christmas? Is there a reason why you do? In my case, my son and I live far apart, and I find it easier to have an idea of what he wants, since I’m mailing it out. I’ll also give him hints for my own gift as he doesn’t get to see my day-to-day life and might not be aware of what I could really use. As I wrote in an earlier blog, he will often give me something that is unexpected and a truly great experience. My birthday gift was Bono’s book launch and last year’s Christmas gift was a visit from him in January. They were such special moments that I keep close.
This year my mom did something quite different and asked her children and grandchildren to attend mass with her during Advent instead of putting something tangible for her under the tree. I can’t speak on other people’s behalf, but I think some of the family saw this as her way of bringing them back to the Church. I don’t know who reached out to her to plan their trip to mass, except for one nephew. He attended mass last weekend and gave my mom a tremendous gift in the process.
I looked at the request in a different way. If I had a friend who was Jewish, for instance, I would be honoured to be invited to attend a service. The way I see it, that person would be asking me to share in the joy they have for their faith. I can’t imagine a greater gift. So, when I spoke with a family member about my mom’s request, I tried to convey my perspective. I’m honestly not sure I was even heard. I think sometimes people get an idea in their head and are unwilling to change or be open to anything else.
When I told my mom how I took her invitation, she seemed surprised. Her reason for her gift request? My mom goes to mass alone. The only time she has company is when I’m visiting her or she’s visiting me, and we attend together. I don’t mind doing things alone and do so regularly. My mom is far more social than I am and when she gets to the church, she looks around and sees families and friends sitting together. It’s not that my mom doesn’t have friends, she has many. When it comes to attending mass or going to her parish’s musical evenings, she always goes on her own. She feels that aloneness.
I thought it was very eye-opening to hear what she experiences. It gave me a much better understanding of the purpose behind her gift request to her family. My son, living quite far away isn’t able to attend a mass with her this year but told her they are hoping to come for Christmas next year. I know from the sound of my mom’s voice that the time she spent with my nephew on the weekend gave her great joy.
Christmas gift-giving is so much fun! My greatest enjoyment is when I “get it right”. When someone opens a gift that brings a smile, and you just know that you’ve picked something that will give joy or excitement or both! My mom’s request brings all of that and more to her. I can’t think of a more perfect present. And now that I better understand her wish, I’m better able to give. In fact, I’ve made arrangements to work one day from her house so that I can attend a Christmas carol sing-along at her church. Not only will this give her something special, I think participating in something so joyous will also give me a festive experience. What more can we ask for at this time of year?
So, this story is for what purpose? Well, I’m sharing because I think we can all learn to give with intention. It doesn’t have to be the newest, coolest item on a store shelf. It doesn’t have to put you into debt. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love shopping, especially at this time of year. There’s an energy in the air that gets me excited for Christmas. I don’t go crazy buying, but I definitely enjoy the shops in our little village. [I like to be able to support the economy.] In the end, I want to give something that is appreciated, brings happiness, and shows that I care.
Well, our snow has left but I’m still getting ready for Christmastime! Hopefully we’ll have a white Christmas!