A Year In Review…
2022. What a year! I’ve been reading people’s social media comments and find it interesting how many people see the year gone by as good or bad. It seems that when people reflect back they remember only one aspect. I’ve been seeing a lot of “good riddance to 2022” and “here’s to something better in 2023”. Actually, there have been only a few posts that have lauded the last twelve months.
I guess I’m not surprised. There has been so much anger in the last year. It seems like people’s default reactions and emotions are negative. I’m no different than everyone else. As I started to review 2022 with the intent of writing this blog, I was surprised how quickly I turned to the bad and negative of my year. And yes, it has been a doozy!
My uncle became very ill, and we had a number of weeks wondering if he was going to make it to spring, then summer, and now I’ve become used to having him around, as I did before the illness. It’s just different. He isn’t curling or golfing, but his mind is fully engaged, and visits are always full of interesting conversation.
I had a very rough spring, which I wrote about. I struggled to keep it all together and cope with daily life. Taking four weeks off was its own challenge, as it was a wakeup call that I was not as resilient as I’ve always thought. Admitting I had an issue and needed help was awful. While my manager was supportive, it was still a horrific experience in terms of work. In the past as an operational controller I had never given in to pressure and suddenly I felt I couldn’t even handle my management job. That’s not the reality as I was still doing my job. However, that’s the feeling I was living under. It wasn’t a good way to live. At the end of my time off I found out (after some testing by my doctor) that I had had a stroke. [I did not experience a stroke with numbing of my body or slurred words or hardly anything. I did have some balance issues and spent time with physiotherapy which helped me regain that balance. I was shocked by the test that said I had a stroke as I would never have guessed.] Sharing this information now is not easy. So, why would I do it? Well, I’m not the only person who has gone through a difficult and challenging medical reality. I believe that sharing is one of the best ways we can support each other. Knowing there is someone going through something similar is a bit like a hug and I’ve certainly benefited from knowing of other people’s struggles. By sharing I hope I can help someone else. Maybe it’s as simple as being more compassionate to those who struggle with something not seen on the outside. We don’t see the whole picture when we look at people.
That medical reality became foundational for the rest of my year. I went through numerous testing, have a specialist, and now take daily medication. While I don’t feel very different physically, I am aware that I have something hanging over me. I have a new baseline and one that should mean that I treat life a little differently. Unfortunately, I didn’t embrace that challenge in 2022. I allowed the stress to eat at me (and I ate my way through it, to be honest) and instead 2022 became a year highlighted by struggles.
Now, here I am at the end of the year and looking back I realize that I permitted the negative to define my year. How crazy is that?! And from what I’ve heard and seen online, many people have done something similar. Writing this blog, I am trying to review 2022 with an external perspective. And what have I found? There were a ton of great things that happened.
My year started with an incredible visit from my son. After two years of pandemic isolation, he gave me an incredible Christmas gift and spent a week with me in January. We had so much fun and lots of just “being together” time. I’m blessed with a very close relationship with my son. We’re in touch daily and it means the world to me that he still wants to tell me about what’s going on in his life. So, what a great gift I was given to start my year. I had a fantastic St. Patrick’s Day with my mom in my little village. We had fun going out to the local pub and having that time together. In May I was off to my former stomping grounds out west and attended a wedding with dear friends. What a fantastic trip! I got to see people who were family for the years I lived there and remain close in my heart.
In June my mom and I had the most amazing trip to see my son. It did so much for my mental health and my happiness. I tried kayaking and relaxed and refreshed myself. We spent a wonderful time together and I was able to just shut down. One of the things I realized during that visit was what retirement can look like. It can be filled with positive time in nature, time with family, good food, good drink, and opportunities for reflection. I can honestly say that holiday was one of the best I’ve ever experienced. I think it’s because I needed to see that there are prospects for my next stage in life. I have a fear (of sorts) of retirement, and yet, given my current professional situation, I’m wishing for it. I’ve always been full of contradictions, and this is a big one for me to face head on. I am so grateful for that week in which I caught of glimpse of the person I can be.
And so my year continued with stress, joyful family get-togethers, involvement in my parish church, and opportunities to learn at work. Throughout the year I have been graced with incredible family and friends that kept me going. I have neighbours that I cannot imagine living without. Even during the tough times I have more blessings than I can count. I can’t say I’m happy yet, but I am working on it. While I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, I will say that I have set myself some serious goals for this year and going forward. I’m forcing myself to step outside of my comfort zone, trying to approach things with a calmer outlook, and keep working on my house and me.
No more am I going to call a year positive or negative. It’s not that simplistic. Years have positive moments and some not-so-positive moments. That’s just the way of life. It truly is what I make of it. Each year I find that I have something to learn. This year I’m hoping to enjoy life a little more, continue changing the rooms of the house into my vision, find something new in terms of career and advancement, and make strides toward an optimistic retirement. None of those are small pursuits and many times I expect I will fall. I hope in one year as I look back on 2023, I feel satisfied that I made the most of these 365 days.
Dropped by one of our village shops and said hi to Santa!
Centre: a nativity scene handed down by my mom.
Top left: a basket of cones and lights made years ago by a favoured aunt - so glad to still be able to enjoy it’s beauty.
Top right: my dining table dressed for Christmas.
Bottom left: Boxing Day sale items from last year being enjoyed for the first time.
Bottom right: a new spot for a beloved decoration. It works perfectly in the kitchen!
Some of this year’s Christmas goodies!
Just before Christmas we had a big snowstorm which impacted a lot of people’s travel plans. Shortly after Christmas we got another dump of the white stuff. Then the warm-up came and with it, lots of rain. So, I’m starting 2023 with a lake in my yard and water in my cellar.