Empty…

Have you noticed how often we think or refer to our later years as “empty”? Even heading into retirement we talk about being “empty-nesters” and downsizing, which is about getting rid of “stuff” and having a smaller home base. Emptying out the accumulation of years is often seen as a lightening of our loads and a cleaning up of our lives.

As anyone who has read one of my blogs knows, I’m trying to figure out my retirement. Along the way I’ve been doing my own downsizing. Buying a century house significantly smaller than my last requires that I sort and discard all the unneeded extras that I’m carrying around. But, when I think of the word empty, I have a negative reaction. Empty makes me think of cavernous spaces that echo when you talk. It’s not filled with a happy sound but an unwelcome one. It makes me think of a hole – a lack of warmth, light, and love. I guess that’s why I don’t care for the term, “empty-nester”. I know of many people who probably never think of themselves that way. Their children have moved out and are living their own lives as adults. And now the grandchildren start coming and are filling the empty-nester home with noise, excitement, and love.

Okay, so I’ve established that the word empty isn’t a word I like. My son is grown up and hasn’t lived at home in nine years (as Facebook has been regularly reminding me for the past week!) and yet I still have some of his stuff around. I am not a fan of austere living – I like having comforts and what luxuries I can afford, along with things that I enjoy. Books alone number in the hundreds in my house and I have no interest in getting rid of most of them! I like, as I’ve shared many times, decorating my house for seasons and events. In fact, I’m switching from Christmas to winter this weekend!

And that got me thinking about empty. When I take Christmas out of the house and start putting it back in its bins, I’m struck by the bareness of the house. It seems so stark in comparison to the lights, colours, and vibrancy that is my environment for the month of December and into January. This year I did things a little differently. I put away all of my Santa Claus decorations during the first weekend of the new year. Normally, I do it all around the Epiphany. Never will I put my Christmas tree away before the weekend of Epiphany. Even now, having started the gathering of décor from around the house, I’m sitting in the living room with the lights from the tree turned on because they give me a sense of joy. In fact, I’ve decided to keep my fireplace garland with its lights up until February.

Now, there’s another kind of empty I’ve had on my mind recently. Both my mom and a cousin have commented on the hatred and negativity that seems to be permeating life these days. And I don’t think they’re wrong. I’ve noticed that I’m having a difficult time not going to the negative first when I respond to something. So, how does that relate to empty? Well, I worry that I’m empty of joy and that if I’m feeling that way and so many are expressing the same thing, does that lead to a world empty of positives?

How often when novels, movies, and shows are created about the future, do they focus on an apocalyptic event? It seems like some collapse of society is often the springboard for creating the new. But why? In my opinion, why do we seem to be okay with heading toward collapse instead of pushing back and making a difference in our here and now? Why? Maybe because so many people seem empty of hope.

I realize I’ve just gone to the extreme with the last two paragraphs. What I’m seeing though, frightens me and not only in a global sense. I’m tired of not finding the positive in myself. Even when something hasn’t worked out I’ve been able to find a purpose. I didn’t succeed at a particular unit, but I ended up getting my master’s degree. I’m quite sure it wouldn’t have happened like that if I had qualified. I wouldn’t have had the time or probably the inclination (at least not at that time) to pursue that degree. So, I recognized the path that I ended on was a good one.

Lately, though, looking at the silver lining hasn’t been easy. I’m finding it harder and harder to celebrate others’ victories without a tinge of sadness for myself. How ridiculous is that?! At the core I prefer to rejoice over the accomplishments of everyone. It’s what makes a community, an organization, even a country, a success. But maybe at the core of it, it’s some of the problem that we’re seeing across the globe. If we can’t find it in ourselves to be happy for someone else, how are we ever going to be happy individually?

So, what can I do to improve? Well, embracing nature is a big step forward. Going for walks, skating during the winter, finding opportunities to breath in the fresh air are excellent ways to heal. At my mom’s Christmas celebration, all of us headed outside to build a snowman. The weather and snow was perfect, and everyone participated. It was one of those impromptu moments that made the day. Those are the times that we remember, and I think going forward I need to make sure I’m more open to them. Practice being positive is another thing I can do for myself. I’m going to acknowledge one positive thought, event, moment each day. It may not seem like much but I’m going to work hard to fill up whatever emptiness I’m feeling and I believe that if each person works to find joy and positivity the world will end up better.

I like to add a little cuteness to my home and these stairs seem perfect for stuffed animals. One was a gift but the others were collected over the years and I’m not ready to part with them. Also, I got thinking about the colours for this room and may end up working on it sooner than initially planned.

A couple of sweet touches can brighten up winter.

Gifts from Christmas, the gnomes and the lights, provide a wonderful addition to a kitchen shelf!

The warmth of a winter fireplace.

I love how the whites, blues, and silvers work together. I also love combining cuteness and elegance in the same room.