Weight…
I’ve had a word keep popping up in my mind. It comes at different times of the day when I could be doing anything. I was swimming and I “heard” it, gardening, working, walking, getting ready for bed, reading a book, and on and on. I decided that meant I should write about it.
How often do we use or hear the word weight and think negatively? I am overweight and trying to reduce and be healthier. So, on a personal basis, the word is an undesirable state of being. This blog is about some of the ways in which I hear and use the word weight, what it means to me, and what I’m learning from it.
- Weight of the world on their shoulders
- Weight of concerns
- Weight of worries
- Weight of consequences
- Weight of confidences
- Weight of difficult or bad news
- Weight of a diagnosis or prognosis
- Weight of long and heavy hair
- Weight of decisions
- Weight of the past
- Weight of tasks on to do lists
- Weight of obligations
- Weight of loyalty
- Weight of possessions
- Weighty discussions or thoughts
- Being weighed down
These are the phrases that have been bouncing around inside my head the past couple of weeks. I’m going to pick out a few of them and go from there. The ones I don’t write about are no less important to me.
I remember hearing about people looking like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders when I was a child. There was always an implied knowledge of the cares that a person was dealing with – a spouse with a drinking problem, not enough money to pay the bills, a child who was running wild – you get the picture. There was empathy in a statement that was always negative in reference. For the person suffering I think it must have been as though their whole world was impacted. I’m not sure I can see any way to turn that around, other than to say our world needs more compassion and that a kind word of support can go a long way.
One of the many thoughts that came to me, the weight of long or heavy hair, might be seen as trivial in comparison, and I suppose in some ways, it is. However, I got my hair cut very short about six weeks ago and it has made a huge difference. I’m always getting compliments on it, it’s super easy to care for, and it has taken years off my face. My friend got hers cut short a couple of weeks ago and sent me a picture. She’s always been a very pretty girl and the haircut made her shine. She looks ten years younger, and it’s given her face a brightness. [I’m not implying we have to look younger to be happy. I will say though, I have found in some situations the weight of heavy hair adds years to a person’s face and I personally don’t have any desire to look older than I am.] I know my haircut has helped me be happier with what I see in the mirror and at the end of the day, my hair is mine. If it makes me happy, then I’m good.
The weight of tasks on a to do list is one that I encounter daily. My preferred method of planning my day often includes a list. It’s my way of making sure I know what I want to accomplish, and I like crossing out items as I complete them. I find the weight comes when I don’t cross off all that I want to achieve. Sometimes it’s natural progression – an item on the list leads me to do something that is not on the list, and which takes time away from something else. Yesterday was a great example of this. I had certain chores around the house and yard that were important to me to get done and I wanted to finish them before I left for a visit and dinner out with my mom and sister. In fact, I had written out my list for after work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so that I could plan out my weekend. [Before you think I’m regimented, it was to make sure I got some of my essentials done. A list helps me because I can write things down and not forget them!] I achieved a lot yesterday, and extra than on the original list. I missed a couple of things, but the priority items were all done so that I could head out early. Today’s list is similarly long and will have items that do not get crossed off. Why? Because these days I try not to beat myself up over things that don’t carry much weight. My neighbour pointed out the household chores will still be there another day and she’s right. I write a list to keep track of what I want to do but all I have to do is look around to feel a sense of achievement.
That leads me to the weight of possessions. For some people, they thrive in a minimalistic environment. For me, I crave certain things around me which make me feel good. Over the years I’ve gathered those possessions which speak to me, and which fit in my home. Interestingly, I’ve found myself buying things that might or might not fit in a particular house because they spoke to me. A few years ago when I was living in a much newer building, I found an antique washstand that I had to have. I bought it, found a place to put it, and there it sat. When I moved here, I knew immediately that washstand belonged here. Maybe I’ve been making my way here for years? I own quite a few special pieces that have called out to me and that just seem to fit perfectly in this house. I’ve also found that since arriving here, I have slowly been removing pieces that take up too much room, don’t fit here, or that I don’t need. I’ll never be a minimalist, but I am finding my way to an optimum weight of possessions, and I don’t see it in a negative light. I’m happy feeling that I’m surrounded by objects that represent my life. Feeling good where you live is critical to finding happiness, I think.
Another weight which has negative energy attached to it is the weight of a diagnosis or prognosis. Recently I heard of someone who was given unexpected, scary news from their doctor. The doctor, however, was relieved, as they were expecting something worse. Interesting, right? Is that one of those times, when “it could have been worse” comes into play? Or maybe it’s an opportunity – you don’t have to go down that particular road of misery so embrace the positive aspect of the information? Or maybe it’s just a chance to slow down and appreciate all that is around you. Maybe jumping to the bad side of a situation isn’t the best way to move ahead. There are some people I know who always think of the positive, find the silver lining, and seem to be happier in their lives. Maybe that’s the lesson to be learned from weight. It isn’t always negative. Sometimes take it as a challenge to learn from and find a new path. It has weight because it matters.
I think when we are making important choices in our lives there should be some weight to those decisions. There should be an acknowledgement that whatever has been decided has been given thought and is made with intent. Not every decision is going to be like that. Last Sunday, with lots of plans made, I chose to lie around my pool taking time for relaxation instead. I don’t consider that a particularly weighty decision, although perhaps it had benefits that give it weight. I decided that relaxation was far more important than driving to the city to do errands and changing over my last garden bed. I guess it’s got some weight to it just by the fact that I still have the garden bed to do, and I had to find time during the week for the errands. It wasn’t life-changing but there was purpose behind it. Some decisions that we’re called upon to make are very weighty and I think they should be.
The newest high school graduates spent their final year in high school determining their path forward. For some of them, that path had been forged over many years and for some, they were just starting to sort it out. They had to pick post-secondary institutions of interest or perhaps make a weighty decision to take a year off to find their passions. They had to find jobs and are now trying to squeeze every last happy second out of their final childhood summer as they plan to leave home. Others are still finding their way and watching as their friends take those steps without them. That is some heavy weight to bear.
Us “older folks” have our own weighty decisions to make as well. I have a lot of colleagues who are planning retirement in the near future. They’ve made the call, submitted the date and paperwork, and are counting down their days on the job. They haven’t done that without deep consideration of their next moves. My former manager and his wife will be hopping in their beautiful new RV and heading south for six months. Their boys are well established away from home and now it’s time for the parents to make a new life. I know they can’t wait for the adventure to begin. I also know that the decision wasn’t made lightly. He weighed out all the options, the cost of living, the expected length of life, the proceeds from his pension, and how long they wanted to roam.
I’m not quite there. I’m still very much in the midst of my own weighty thoughts, trying to find the way forward. I am not the type to do nothing, although to be honest, the idea of having a month or two without any responsibility to a job and no alarm in the morning sounds like heaven! There’s a lot of time past that initial honeymoon phase that needs to be considered, though. This is truly the second half of life, and the question remains, what am I going to do with it? That was a big part of why I started writing this blog and perhaps it has provided some answers. It’s revealed some questions, too, which should be expected when a person is contemplating their life, their past and their future, while living today.
I guess what I’ve learned while writing this blog is that weight, like a lot of things in life, can have good or bad connotations. It’s our perception that decides which it is. It’s what we choose to see and how we choose to continue that makes the difference. I’m never going to be perfect. I’m never going to always make the right choices. What I can do though, is see every situation of weight with compassion for myself and others, flexibility to make changes when I need, and a spirit of celebration and appreciation as I go.
Top: this is the washstand, as I found it at an outdoor flea market.
Middle: the washstand in it’s temporary place in my previous house.
Bottom: it’s permanent home in this house. I think it’s a perfect fit.
This is the old water pump for the house. Last year my mom suggested moving the “cauldron”, also inherited with the house, to beneath the pump. It’s a mass of flowers this summer and next week hopefully I can share the new look!
The view of my kitchen screen door from inside. I’ve had difficulties finding a replacement so today I am accepting the door and working to improve it.
The porch is getting a facelift! Can’t wait to share the new look next week!
I’m adding this in because I love my hibiscus and want to share its beauty! This plant came with me from my previous house and blooms in multi-colour. If you look closely you’ll see a red bud getting ready to bloom!
With every change I make, there are weighty decisions. Am I honouring the history of the house? Am I making a change to the character? Is it a change that might cost me if/when I want to sell? Can I afford to do the change? Can I do it myself or do I have to hire someone?
I hope you enjoy the pre-pictures as I know I’m going to be excited to share the new look!