Tis The Season…
The lead into Christmas is always crazy but I think it’s become crazier the older I’ve become. When I was a child the anticipation started with the arrival of the Sears Christmas Wish Book. We would spend countless hours going through the catalogue and picking out the items for our letters to Santa. The pages would be dog eared and we would put stars beside our favourites. As I think back, I don’t feel like there was a lot of greediness; it was simply fun to dream. Fast forward decades to where I am today and I still get excited by the coming of Christmas. Often though, it can be outweighed by the expectations I put on myself.
The house must be sparkling clean. The food must be well planned and beautifully cooked. I must do a ton of baking. I must attend craft markets and festivals, visit with friends, shop for gifts, decorate my home and on and on. That’s just my personal to do list. Work takes more than eight hours of each of my days and I tend to drink a protein shake for lunch while sitting at my desk and trying to catch up. How about the reality of the house? We got a big dump of snow last night and I am going to spend time today trying to dig myself out. This coming week I’m attending meetings at our head office so I’ll be travelling to and from there each day with extra long hours. On top of this schedule, I have my regularly scheduled chores - clean the kitchen and bathrooms, mop floors, wash and dry laundry, and ensure that garbage and recycling is gathered and placed out.
Do you hear a glimmer of panic in my writing? Well, it’s there. In fact, there’s a lot of it. My therapist suggested that when I feel overwhelmed I should close my eyes and picture myself in the middle of a fast moving stream. I’m being pushed and pulled and battered around. Then he said, picture yourself on the bank of the stream and watching it flow by. It sounds pretty simplistic but it helps. The panic doesn’t completely leave my body but I get a chance to look at my situation with a more holistic perspective.
I think the craziness of this season, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, can rob you of the joy that should be at the core. I decided to write this blog for last Sunday. I didn’t get a blog published last week and it’s because I chose to do something more important. I drove to my mom’s to participate in her Christmas tree trimming party. The only family member missing was my son who lives on the other side of the country. For many years he and I lived too far away to attend these events so now that I am closer, I think it’s important to show up. When I was writing the notes for this blog, I jotted down “expectations we place on ourselves” and “expectations from others - how many are real and how many are perceived?” My mom saw my notes and felt that she was placing a heavy weight on me to attend her party. I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as a choice. I didn’t have to go. It’s a three hour round trip and it was on a Sunday. With a return to work on the Monday it does make it a little tougher for me. But it was still a choice. I spent so many years living far from family that I wanted to be part of it. I wanted to see the decorated tree and visit with nieces and nephews, and enjoy some food with family. The connections are the important part.
What did that mean, though? It meant plans to work on my front porch decorations were pushed aside. It meant that I didn’t get tarps on my outside furniture. It meant the floors weren’t mopped, only swept. Did the world end? No. Was anyone hurt by what I didn’t get done? No. Did I have to find time to do a bit during the week? Yes. Did I get everything done? No. Will I survive? Probably better than if I had made everything perfect at home and didn’t go to my mom’s.
The pressures that we place on ourselves for special occasions, especially Christmas, can diminish their meaning and importance. I am fascinated by people who let those worries slide off them. After all these years, I still am not there. I try. I try to recognize the priority of one thing over another and sometimes I succeed. Other times, the stress gets the best of me and I struggle with the headaches or crankiness that ensues. I was looking at social media last night. Someone posted their first Christmas baking day - dozens and dozens of cookies were made. She posted pictures, too. It was day one. I know from previous years, that there will be more days of baking ahead. She’ll share pictures along the way. My first thought was wow, they look yummy. My second thought was, oh my goodness, when am I going to find some time for my own baking? Another stress I’ve added to my shoulders.
What I’ve chosen to do this year to address the stress is to ask myself, what is important for Christmas 2024? So, yes, I want to get some baking done and no, I’m not going to make everything that I have in the past. Right this minute I have three items on my baking list and those are what I will focus on. I realized that most likely I’ll be retired next Christmas and I can have a long list of Christmas baking because I do love to give baked gifts. For this year, I’m going to concentrate on my favourites and I know that they will be appreciated. I won’t have a freezer full and that’s okay. I think that’s one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. We can remind ourselves that it is okay to only do what we can. We have this idea that we have to go 24/7 leading into Christmas. We have to host parties or attend them. We have to bake like we’re going into a famine. We have to give gifts that we spend months paying for. We have to have sparkling clean houses that no one will notice as they knock the snow off their boots and jackets.
I’ve decided I don’t need to do that. I want to do a few things - I want to give baked goodies to a couple of people who are special to me. I want to get my house “in order” which is more about tidying it up and putting away the wrapping paper and boxes. If I don’t get my front step decorated I’ll be really sorry but the inside of my house is full of Christmas cheer and that will be enough for this year. I want to know that anyone who enters into my home feels welcome. I want them to feel the joy that I feel when I look at the lights on my trees or see the touches of Christmas throughout. We say it over and over that Christmas is about more than going into debt for presents and yet we seem to keep repeating the stress year after year. I want this Christmas to be about faith (which is so important to me), family and friends. I want to feel joy at fresh snow and not dread having to shovel. I want to look forward to time with friends instead of panicking over what won’t get done. With only 17 days until the big day, I hope you’ll find some peace amidst the chaos. Happy Advent 2024!
Some of this year’s decor. I think the age and charm of the house highlight the warmth and beauty of my Christmas decorations. The centre picture is of my Advent wreath. For me this is the foundation of Christmas and by placing it in the centre of my table I am brought back to the true meaning of Christmas daily.
Unlike the Advent wreath in the picture above which I feel is about preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus, Advent calendars are the countdown to Christmas.
My Nativity scenes are an essential part of my Christmas decor. Here are four of my favourites.
The picture on the left was the rising sun one morning this past week before the snow arrived in force. I stood on my kitchen porch and breathed deeply, giving thanks for the day to come. On the bottom right is my new fire pit (a birthday gift from my son and mom). My neighbour and I sat our last weekend and roasted marshmallows while discussing our week. Although different times of day, both pictures represent peace to me.