Reality Check…

So, as has happened before, I was halfway through my blog for this week when a couple of things happened that made me push it to the side and write about a different subject. So, let me talk about those events and how they impacted me and pushed me to write this blog.

First of all, my mom came down with a virus while I was writing my last blog. She was really suffering but didn’t want me around for fear that I would catch it. By the end of last weekend, I was worried. She sounded absolutely dreadful and miserable. It was a wicked virus and knocking out her energy. On Tuesday she sounded worse than I’ve ever heard her and angry on top of it. She was forgetful and logic was not engaged! A good friend of hers who is a nurse, suggested that it’s probably RSV and gave her lots of guidance on how to take care. Thankfully later in the week she was sounding better, although the cough was still awful. I was already scheduled to visit on Friday, and she asked could I come a night earlier, on Thursday. Without thinking (a bad habit a lot of us engage in) I said I couldn’t as I have class that night. Almost immediately I got back in touch and said, of course I could. She is far more important than a class.

That’s the first wakeup call I had this past week. We can no longer assume that a virus is “just a virus that will go away”. We’ve seen the outcome of a global-wide pandemic that killed more than 6.8 million people, according to the World Health Organization. We know that a virus can be deadly for more than just the vulnerable or immune compromised in our society. It is no longer okay for me to assume my mom will always pull through. Truth is, I’m not sure it’s okay for me to assume that about anyone. I mean, yes, for the most part, we will continue to recover from viruses, but it feels like the cavalier expectation is gone for good.

And that’s where I have something to learn. I need to embrace the time I have with people. Yes, sometimes I find it frustrating, or irritating, or exhausting. It’s also challenging, and fun, and entertaining, and filled with joy and love. Those are the memories we hold on to and cherish. That’s what we take with us that fills our hearts and souls. And I believe, that’s what we pass down. The earth is a home given to us to protect and respect. I think that deep down it carries the imprint of the memories we’ve passed down to our children and grandchildren, our nieces and nephews. Those traditions and loves sink into the soil and become foundational to what we produce on our planet.

The selfishness I have about “my time”, my need to spend time on my own and do my own thing, isn’t going to count for much when those I care for the most are gone. The anniversary of my dad’s passing was just over a week ago and I reflected on how I still wish I could call him up and share something that I saw or did. How, even after seven years that isn’t gone. In some ways, I appreciate those reminders of him, and they help me cherish my time with my mom. Thankfully, she saw a doctor and is, slowly, on the mend. I am so blessed to have her.

The second thing that was an eye-opening experience this week involved a dental emergency. When I moved here I had a specialist recommendation due to TMJ. My dentist was trained by my specialist so of course I chose to use her as my dentist. She and her husband are both dentists and operate their office together. As a side note, they are wonderful. They are very caring and put me at ease whenever I’m there. So, back to the emergency. It required two trips into the office: one to assess and determine the fix and the next to do the work. It just so happens my dentist and her husband are from Russia. They often hire Russian immigrants, or their offspring and I delight in hearing the different languages when I’m in the waiting room. I love the diversity of accents and voices when I’m in the office. Anyway, I’m digressing a bit. There is a new assistant in the office these days. Because of the accent, I thought she, too is Russian. We got talking and it turns out she came from the Ukraine. She’s been here for about ten months and just before Russia invaded, she had finished her schooling to be a dentist.

I asked her how she liked Canada and she said it was so calm and peaceful. That surprised me. I honestly don’t think of Canada as being particularly quiet but then I have never experienced life in the chaos of war. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have bombs or missiles or artillery fire or guns blasting. The scurrying for cover when a strike comes in must be the height of panic. So, yes, of course Canada is calm and peaceful.

It was truly a blessing to meet Marguerite. She was so friendly and kind. We had an opportunity to chat for ten minutes and in that time I got to appreciate the gift of being born and raised in a country that is without the chaos of war. During a BBC World News program last week the guest, a Ukrainian government minister pointed out that the upcoming one year anniversary of the invasion by Russia wasn’t a true anniversary of the war. They have been in conflict since 2014 with numerous cease fires that didn’t hold. So, this isn’t just a year of war, it’s nine years of war.

Anyway, to return to why I changed my blog topic this week. My Russian dentists brought into their business family a Ukrainian who is fleeing the ravages of a war. However it was done doesn’t matter to me. This is a good news story. One that made my heart glad and grateful. It was also a reality check for me. I’ve been struggling for a while. I don’t want to return to how I felt a year ago and am actively pushing back. But I’ve been feeling down and sorry for myself. I don’t fit at work in my current job. I don’t have a “someone special” in my life. It’s taking too long to get stuff done with the house. I had some damage, already discovered, from the heavy snowfall. I know with melting, I’m going to be dealing with cellar water again. Oh woe is me.

I writing this blog because it’s important that I remember all that is good. My mom is recovering from that terrible virus that really knocked her out. We’ve just celebrated her birthday. My uncle, who we weren’t sure was going to make it to summer a year ago is still going strong. My house still stands and as I continue to work on the sitting room/library brings me a sense of achievement and enjoyment. I’m looking forward to cuddling up with a good book when it’s finished. Yes, the water may come but I’m actively seeking out input from professionals to improve that situation. It’s already significantly better than when I moved in two years ago.

My reality check? Well, I have opportunities to learn more. I keep jumping out of my comfort zone in an effort to find the right fit. I have family and friends who still pick me up when I’m down. I have a son who is my biggest source of pride and joy. I live in a country that is inclusive and beautiful. I don’t have to wonder if I’m going to turn the corner and walk into a war zone. I have food and a roof over my head. I can sleep in peace each night. The air is safe to breathe and the water safe to drink. I’m blessed and it does my heart and soul good to remember that.

One coat on and ran out of paint! Great to have a sunny and relatively warm February day for painting!

Excited to get more paint tomorrow and get this finished!