Platitudes…

What happens when life keeps handing you lemons? Do you make lemonade?

I have to admit this has been a tough week. My electrician (for the pool) had his apprentice come to dig the needed trench. Two feet deep and yards long to get to the house. Nice young guy and a hard worker. I kind of felt bad sitting inside my air conditioned office working while he was right outside digging dirt. Until he hit the first pipe. Then I really felt bad. Actually I felt scared. I had done the required call for digging and nothing was identified for my side yard. So what was the pipe? Luckily it was completely dry. Must be an old drain. He called his boss and continued digging. And then hit rusting steel. Out I went again. This time I felt worse than bad and worse than scared. I started to hit panic. What the hell was going on in my side yard?! I made a comment that there better not be bodies next, trying to find some levity but I wasn’t feeling any.

I spoke to a colleague who has an even older house than mine and lives in the boonies, outside of a village. (I’m far more metropolitan living in the village!! Haha!) Probably an old septic tank was his thought. After a panicked call to my mom - yes even at my age I’ll call my mom for advice - she had a great idea. Why not get in touch with my tree “guy”. He knows everyone and seems to know just about everything about the area. After all, he’s lived here 30 years! My first lesson (reminder?) of the week: meet people in the village. That’s how you learn things and find tradespeople. So yes, I got in touch with Donald and he, thankfully, came by to take a look. It is a decommissioned septic system. Nothing much to worry about BUT it will have to be dug up (not taken out) and filled.

Maybe in the grand scheme of things that makes it less worrisome. I know what it is and what needs to be done. However, my mind was far from at ease. I’m supposed to be getting my pool soon and I need the electrical in for it. The electrician can’t put the electrical in, or even finish the trench, until the septic tank is dealt with, and I still don’t have a firm date for the pool so timing could be critical. It took a few days for the “excavation” guy to have time to come by and examine the tank. Yes, Donald was correct. The area of the tank needs to be dug, the top taken off, and then the tank itself filled. Of course, like everything, this is not free. Once again, money that was not budgeted, is needed.

So, let me point out the steps that are ahead of me. [Yes, I said ahead of me. I say that because even though I’m hiring people to do this, the coordination of the work, the cost of the work, and the pool situation, all rest on my shoulders. Not to mention, just inside my gate is an open hole with a rusting tank, covered by a tarp.] The locate work I had done a couple of months ago is no longer valid - at most you have 60 days from day of application. I immediately submitted a new request. The excavator will not dig until I have that locator information and it’s a really busy time of year so I don’t know how quickly I will get it. THEN the excavation on the tank can begin. The electrician’s apprentice cannot finish the trench until the tank is filled. After the trench is finished, the electrician has to go through the stone of my foundation to hook into my electrical panel, sink a post at the other end of the trench, and run the electrical for the pool. At any point along the way the pool installers could show up. They were supposed to be here at the end of June and now we’re past mid-July. Not sure what happens if they show up and this mess is still going on. I don’t know if they can go ahead and install the pool (that area isn’t affected) and if they do, what happens without the pump hooked up? Apparently I can run an extension short term to the house but I don’t have an outdoor outlet on that side of the house. Oh and I will still need the extra tanker of water to fill the pool. Anyway, this is why I’ve been stressed and testy this week. It’s been a lot to bear on shoulders that have already been feeling weight.

To end my weekend I was out weeding and mowing today and discovered tons of earwigs!!! Oh my goodness, there were hundreds of them in a couple of areas of the yard and they are gross! In a way I guess it was in line with the crappy parts of my week. I find sometimes I just want to throw up my hands and say why me! In fact, when I was at a low point this past week and shared with a friend, she thought I should consider moving. Take care of the septic tank mess and get out. I have to be honest - that created a whole other level of panic in my head.

Have you ever seen the TV show where they do renovations on a house and find another house for the couple to buy and at the end of the show ask them whether they will move or stay in the newly renovated home? I’m never surprised when they choose to stay, even if the renovation doesn’t cover everything they wanted. The cost of selling a house is not insignificant and the cost of the move itself is pretty hefty! It includes not just the monetary cost of moving possessions but also the stress of prepping your house for showings, packing, cleaning, physically moving, and so on. I think it’s got to be one of the most stressful things we do in life. Anyway, I appreciate that my friend was offering a solution and what she thinks is best for me but I just can’t do it. It’s pretty rare for me to give up on challenges and I take responsibility for my choices. That means I stick it out here.

My second lesson this week is about allowing myself to feel what I’m feeling. Just because I was upset does not mean I shouldn’t be upset. It was (is still?) my honest emotion attached to the mess in the yard and the uncertainty about when it will be “fixed”. I have a habit of trying to make myself accept and move on before I’ve had a chance to experience the bad. “It is what it is.” “After the storm, the sun will shine.” “There’s always someone having a worse day than you are.” “There’s always a silver lining.” “This too shall pass.” “It could be worse.”

What do all those platitudes have in common, other than being trite? They diminish my true emotions. I’m allowed to be angry and depressed. My current reality is kind of yucky, as you will see in the pictures down below. I can’t use my gate entrance, sitting on the porch is rather upsetting when the view is of the trench and mess, and it’s another pile of money that I could use elsewhere. So, my lesson is to not treat others to words that are insulting to me. Hopefully, I’ll live up to it. There are certain realities in this mess. I (currently) have the money to pay for the cleanup, thankfully. Of course, it’s money coming from my reno budget and it may impact my plans but at least I can find it today. I’m not trying to dig up the tank and fill it in myself. There are people who do this work and I’ve had a good one recommended to me. I consider myself lucky to have been meeting people who work hard and seem to be reasonable in their costs. These are all positive things and I will remember them as my next work week starts. I will try to accept and move forward, now that I’ve allowed my feelings out, acknowledged them, and cried a little. I will no longer apologize for feeling what I do. In the same way that I celebrate laughter, I will recognize my anger and sadness. I guess when it’s said that the bad is what makes the good shine, it is correct. If nothing ever went wrong, if there were no bumps in the road, I might not appreciate what I have and how often there is something to celebrate.

Bottom left is the rusting top of the decommissioned septic tank.

Rest of the pictures are various parts of the trench.

Sneak peek of the developing spa bathroom.

I’ve found the perfect home for my orchid. It keeps blooming and blooming!

So beautiful!