Excitement…

Excitement. Something everyone wants in their lives, right? We talk about variety being the spice of life. We talk about making things a little more exciting in the bedroom. We talk about adding some adventure to our everyday existence. Do you want to go on a holiday that puts a buzz in your system? Are you looking for a thrill? I’m reading a book with a character who talks about being pretty good at shoplifting as a child. She figured she could have been a cat burglar. She didn’t do it for the loot, she did it for the thrill. Being “on the edge”.

I have a couple of girlfriends who are very different in nature and lifestyle. They both have interesting relationships on the go right now. One is about companionship. Someone to spend time with so that they aren’t alone. A “plus one”. I understand that. I went out last night and once again went by myself. I don’t say it for sympathy. I truly don’t mind. I was at a concert. I don’t think I need someone beside me so that I can enjoy the music and environment. I notice the solitary nature of my life when I’m travelling back home. I don’t have anyone to chat with about the music, about the new songs and the old that were played. So, I get the desire to have someone. My other girlfriend seems to need excitement. She feeds off the energy that her relationship inputs into her life. And her relationship isn’t the only area in which she seeks thrill. She’s like that in a lot of ways.

So, I’ve been thinking. Is there a time in our life when excitement is more likely to be sought? As we get older are we looking for the quiet? The staid? The uneventful? Do we want it to be calm and peaceful? Or maybe it isn’t governed by a time of life. Maybe it’s something else that drives our desires. In my case, I’ve definitely noticed a greater desire for peace than what I needed earlier in life. But I think it could be driven by energy - I’m not sure how much capacity I have for excitement. Maybe if I could find a way to have it in small, manageable increments. The thing is, what is excitement?

I think it depends on the person. For some it might be about doing something new. About the rush of adrenaline when you do something a little (or a lot) scary, like bungee jumping. Maybe excitement comes from tackling a fear. If you’re afraid of heights and you stand on the see-through floor of the CN Tower, that’s going to cause your heartbeat to race. And is it that? Is it the pulse jump? Is it breaking a rule that is exciting, like the character in the book I’m reading talks about? How about when you meet someone? Is it that immediate connection that tells you that you’re going to be friends or something more? What is excitement and is it important?

I know a few people who are, for lack of a better word, bland. They are very one-dimensional. They show little emotion, little interest in learning, little impact when change arrives. And then there are people who get riled up quickly when they see injustice, when they see their friends struggle, when they encounter new prospects in their lives. And what is really interesting to me is that it doesn’t matter if they are extroverts or introverts. I’m an introvert and I love certain types of excitement. If I’m working on something that is chaos, I thrive. If I get the opportunity to right a wrong, I’m totally engaged. If I’m faced with drama, though, I want out. I have no desire to be involved when others engage in risky behaviour or won’t take care of themselves. And there are other things that just don’t do it for me. I had a blast para-sailing years ago with my son. If you were to ask me if I want to do it again, I’m not sure that I would say yes. I’ve never been a roller-coaster person. I get so motion sick that even the idea of going on those rides is enough to make me green. Moving to new towns is an excitement that I’ve been part of many times over the years and one that I embrace. The whole idea of learning about a new place and new people is such fun. I’m currently trying to plan out a vacation. Now, that’s exciting! And yet, if I do book something by the time it arrives, I’ll be questioning why I’m doing it. I’m just as happy to stay home. So, I guess I’m somewhere in the middle between bland and excitement fuelled.Over the course of considering this blog, one of the things that kept coming up was the idea that things might change with retirement. I find that a lot of what excites me isn’t possible right now because I have a job. Monday to Friday I’m spoken for. I don’t find that my weekdays are really mine. If I want to add some excitement to my regular life, I can honestly say I don’t know what that would look like.

Maybe it’s a relationship? I think excitement is important to at least start a romance. That little catch inside me that says, this guy might be something special. If that isn’t there, if there is no thrill inside, I know that I could become good friends but it will never be an intimate, romantic relationship.

Maybe it’s work-related. I was asked to write a poem and I said no. I don’t write poetry but driving home last night, the words came to me. I wrote them out this morning and gave them to the woman. She was so happy with it and it honestly gave me a boost. I know I want to write when I’m done with this Monday to Friday gig. I know how it looks in my mind to write. I know the discipline involved and how I will go about it. Now, I just have to make it happen. If I can? That will be an excitement above and beyond any I’ve known before. In the meantime, opportunities to grow and development in my daily work life have the possibility of bringing some excitement into my life. Advancements and progression planned for the future can be thrilling.

What else? Well, planning renovations, decorating, additions to my home are very exciting. I expect to have a pool deck this spring and that is incredibly exciting. I can’t wait to have it in place. It will enhance the enjoyment I get from my pool and that area of the yard. I think it will be amazing and can’t wait for it! Any of the work I do on my yard always brings a little exhilaration. Just that anticipation of what the outcome will be is enough to keep me going.

I think I’ve mostly rambled this week (and you might say every week!) about a topic that probably a lot of people don’t contemplate. While we might seek the idea of excitement I don’t think it’s something that gets much conscious thought. If I go back to what got me started on this topic, my two girlfriends, I wonder if they even notice what I did. I see lots of memes on social media that imply peace, quiet, and calm should be our goals. Is it about getting older, wiser, or what we see in the world these days? Is it that excitement is being seen as drama and not positive? Is it that the craziness we’ve experienced for the last few years makes us desire quiet? I don’t want to eliminate excitement from my life. I think it’s a great feeling to have your pulse rev up and to be invested in something, even if it’s short term. It’s a good reminder that I’m still alive.

I decided to start doing my switch from winter and Valentine’s a few days early this year. I think I’m in need of green, St. Patrick’s and the start of spring. You. might be interested in seeing part of my process - looks like a disaster but it’s how I make sure everything is put away in the appropriate bins, sorted, and wrapped up. I’ll share the new look next week!