Belief…

Belief is an incredible thing. You can believe in a person or people, a spiritual conviction, morals and values, and self. This was not my planned topic for this week. It came about due to a number of events and conversations I’ve had recently.

First and foremost, I believe in God. That belief is sometimes tested by situations or by inner doubts but mostly it keeps me going. That does not mean that I am without judgement, sin, or anger. At times it is difficult because I cannot always reconcile how I live my life to my faith. I want to be a certain type of person and it can be hard to achieve when my humanness gets in the way. At other times, I am strengthened by my faith. In fact, I find it hard to understand the lack of faith in people. I’m not talking about organized religion. It works for me, and I understand it may not work for everyone. I’m talking about not believing that there is a supreme being, a lifeforce that has given us this opportunity to have life. It is so fundamental to my life that I don’t understand how some people don’t experience it. My personal feeling is the lack of that spirituality, that missing element of life, makes it hard to look beyond yourself at the bigger picture. Because you don’t see a bigger picture.

I watched the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II and the remarks that really stood out for me were about her great faith and belief in God. She was more than a head of state, she was the head of the Church of England, and she took that role seriously, embracing it with great devotion. That strength of faith meant she believed she would be joining her past family members at her passing, and I can’t imagine anything better at the end of a life.

I guess I believed in Queen Elizabeth, too. Certainly at heart I’m a monarchist, as I’ve mentioned before. My grandpa must have passed it down to me. I like having a monarch and I do not want to live in a republic. Queen Elizabeth II showed such dignity and grace, even when faced with terrible times (remember her Christmas address about “annus horribilis”?) and I think that made a difference to my belief. As a young girl, I probably had some dreams of falling in love with a prince and seeing the Queen’s service to the Commonwealth opened my eyes to the reality of that dream. It wasn’t meant for me (or most) and I’m okay with that. However, my belief in her, her service, and her grace do inspire me to be a better person.

I think that might be a necessary element of belief. It inspires you to improve and always strive to be and do better. Belief is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something”. It seems to fit how I’ve described my beliefs above. Another belief that I encountered this past week has been in rest and reflection. My mom and I were discussing “Sundays” during a visit on the weekend. Her father instilled a deep value in Sunday rest. It was a day for relaxing, taking a drive, reading a book, and definitely not working. It wasn’t rooted in any religious intent but it’s something that has developed for my mom. For her, Sunday is important as the Lord’s Day. My mom is retired now, and as a “still working” person, I would add that it’s also about mentally preparing for the week ahead. I think it’s critically important to refresh ourselves, body, mind, and spirit. It’s the only way we create a sustainable life.

And that’s another belief that I’m developing for myself. A belief in self-preservation. It’s something I’ve always supported, but for others. When I was younger, I felt less in need of self-preservation. Nowadays it seems like my life is different. Non-stop stress, non-stop work (or play for some people), non-stop spending, non-stop eating, and so on are embraced by many people as ways to deal with life. Nothing non-stop is sustainable. There has to be balance in life. We need sleep, exercise, nourishment (both food and otherwise), and that is self-preservation. We cannot go on without taking care of self. So, while it’s a belief I have, it’s not one I’ve worked at consistently and now I will.

I believe in family and accept that family can be rewarding and challenging. I believe we are there to support, encourage, and love each other. I also believe that the self-preservation that I mention above, has to be considered in terms of family. I have a friend with a family member who is not self-sufficient and unable to care for himself. I asked if she is expected to care for that person if and when her parents are no long able, and she said absolutely not. I thought that spoke volumes about her family. She obviously has parents who don’t believe in burdening their children. She will be that family member’s person for as long as they are both here, but she isn’t expected to shoulder all the weight. She is allowed to use the support and resources that are provided. That might not sound like much, but I’ve known quite a few people with parents who expected the “other” child(ren) to take over when they are no longer capable. I believe in family, and I believe in self-preservation and sometimes it might seem like the two don’t align.

All of this leads to the last belief I want to talk about and that is belief in self. I think this is a belief that has been the hardest for me. It’s something I’m starting to stand up for and take seriously. I’ve spent a number of years allowing certain behaviour because I couldn’t fight back. I’ve made a conscious decision that I’m done with that. I don’t even need to fight back, as long as I stand for my values. For instance, I’m at an age where I no longer put up with bullies. That doesn’t mean I’m a bully in return. What it does mean is, that I refuse to accept the treatment and I will not be walked over. I attended a committee meeting last night and spoke up. That’s belief in me. What I have to contribute is worthwhile. I’m no more and definitely no less than any other committee member. The thing is, if I don’t have a belief in myself, how can I expect anyone else? I am disappointed it’s taken me this many years but I’m proud that I’m still learning and improving.

Fall is a great time of year to clean out garden beds and move around plants in preparation for next spring. On the left is lots of overgrowth and on the right is after a lot has been removed. There will be much more room for the roses that I have to find the sun!

On the left is my pump in mid-summer, full of bright blooms and on the right is the switch I made this past weekend to fall mums. Hopefully the weather will be good this coming weekend to continue working outside.

This is my driveway entrance. As you can see, I’m still cleaning up the area. What you can’t see is a small project on the left. My plan is to complete it this weekend and then share the results next week.

I like adjusting the look of my house, outside and in, according to the seasons. My fingers are crossed the new handyman will be by soon to help change this front door!