No Blog…

I wasn’t going to write a blog today. To be honest, I’ve got two started, along with quite a few other ideas in my “thoughts notebook”. This week though, I’ve been concentrating on some of my executor duties and haven’t felt like writing very much. I decided to write out the thoughts that are front and centre as I deal with my uncle’s estate and I present them as this week’s blog.

First I’ll share what my executor duties included this week. People who haven’t had this honour often ask me what’s involved. The first thing this week was dealing with a bill from our government revenue services. When a person dies mid-month and they have been receiving our government pension or any of our government-run benefits, the estate may have to pay back some of that money. All payments, benefits, etc. end at death and anything prepaid has to be returned. So that was one errand. At the time of my uncle’s passing I didn’t know exactly when we would have interment and a celebration of life. In order to ensure his friends have the opportunity to attend, I wanted to put out notices. That was another errand to run this week. And of course, it’s tax time. I had to get all of the paperwork and documentation in order and meet with the accountant. Now, to be honest, I’m sure I could save the money and do it myself BUT I don’t think that’s the smart choice. Yes, it costs money to have an accountant do the work but it saves in the long run. I’ll know that it’s been done correctly and that I haven’t missed anything important. Also, once both years are processed the accountant will apply for a clearance certificate. For those that don’t know, a clearance certificate is like an approval from the government that taxes, payments, benefits, etc., are all taken care of and they won’t come back to the estate arguing about anything in the future. It’s a safety net for the estate and for me, as the executor. While all of this means it can be months or more to finish the estate work, it’s essential to submit requirements in a timely fashion. Plus, having an organized mind I cannot have it hanging over my head. And finally, I needed to confirm the booking for the hall and the food for the celebration.

I’ve also been playing with the words I want to say at our celebration of life. My uncle was adamant there was to be no service and he’s getting his wish. I want to be sure to convey his feelings as well as mine when we all gather to remember him. There is still work for me to get done before the interment but I feel like I’m getting there. Because the cemetery is for family only, it feels a little heavier. Yes, he will be missed by all of his friends but I know the hole he has left in the family, especially, needs to be grieved. This will be our opportunity to come together.

I don’t think most people are aware of the impact they have on others’ lives. I’ve written about it before in a present tense. If you are nasty to someone, that can set their day on a negative path and of course, the reverse is true. When someone smiles at you, it can stay with you throughout your day. Well, my uncle had a huge impact on me and I don’t think I even knew how much. I was used to going up to my hometown every couple of weeks, sometimes more depending on events. My hometown was also my uncle’s. All of my dad’s siblings were born there so for all of my life there has been at least one McAuliffe in the town. Now when I return, like on Friday doing my “errands”, it’s no longer “our” town. I noticed more changes than I have in the past, probably because I was always in the town of my youth. Going to my uncle’s apartment on streets that were always there, to the Legion that was a foundation of my childhood (my grandma practically ran the women’s auxiliary for the majority of my youth), and seeing people I’ve known forever made it “mine”. I took a drive on Friday while I was waiting for an appointment and went through an area I haven’t been in for years. The streets and houses were exactly as I remembered them (I had a good friend that lived there) but it wasn’t the same. The people are mostly unknown to me and the cars parked in front were shiny and new.

My uncle has been the reason for my return to my hometown. It’s still my hometown and always will be, after all I was born there. But it’s changed. I no longer have a hold in the town. Yes, there are still friends there and when I stop into the Legion I have people with whom to sit and visit. But I’m missing the foundation of why I was there. It happened before when my dad passed away but I still had an aunt and uncle. There wasn’t the same “home” but I still had family. And now that’s done. It’s just a place of memories. Now, I will say I expect that may change again. Perhaps I’ll find that visiting will be a good thing and not a reminder of who is gone. I guess I’ll see.

My uncle and I shared a love of politics, news, sports (most, not all), and reading. I miss those conversations and debates. I spent a lot of time sorting out pictures and documents yesterday. While I was doing it I could hear his voice telling me yes or no to certain pictures, laughing about some of the papers he saved and even apologizing for a bit of the mess. We do not leave this world in a tidy and organized way. We leave it when God calls us home and behind us is the clutter that didn’t get cleaned up. Someone else takes on that job. I heard his voice as I chose gifts for all of my cousins from what he left behind. I believe I chose items that they will enjoy and that will connect them to him. I think it’s because of our relationship that I was able to do that. As much as I will miss him, I am grateful that we had the time together to grow that relationship. I am a better person because of him and the people that went before him. Those whom we’ve loved leave their impact on us through our memories and we are blessed.

So, those are my thoughts today. I’m busy trying to clean and freshen my house ahead of Easter. I’m blessed to have my mom joining me next weekend and I always want the house to welcome her. It seems a little dusty and heavy after winter, even if it’s been a relatively “easy” winter for us. I like that Easter pushes me to brighten and lighten after the dark months of winter.

A few wintery pictures of the falls in my hometown.

I had to include these conflicting images. After spring arrived, so did another bout of winter! I found it ironic that I had just switched to a new mug!